Lost Time
by Writer-by-day
Summary: Sirius Black escapes the veil and finds himself 8 years in the future. Hermione is trying to recover both physically and mentally from the war that ended Voldemort's reign in the wizzarding world. UPDATED: FORMALLY 'UNKNOWN'
1. Chapter 1

**_HELLO! Welcome to my ficci! Hopefully you enjoy, I do however need a little assistance, I NEED A NAME FOR THIS FIC! If you have an idea please review tell me what you think of the fic and suggest a name if you can think of one. I would be much obliged, there will probably be a vote in the next few chapters and see which name gets the most votes :)_**

**_DISCLAIMER: I own squat, if I did I would be rich. This is NOT agreeing to what happened to Sirius in the OotP because I don't. Hear that Rowling, BRING BACK THE BLACK!_**

**_Thanks to my fantasic beta Evergreen Baby, for putting up with me and my nit picking and constant need for advise and suggestions. and my constant use of the word AND. _**

PROLOUGUE:

_Sirius Black walked down the winding black tunnel, committed to find his way out and get back on with his fight at the ministry with his so-called cousin. He had been walking for what seemed like forever and still saw nothing but darkness ahead of him. This was getting slightly frustrating considering the fact that he couldn't hear anything but silence, his wand was still poised in his hand ready for use if need be and his grip tightened ever more slightly as time slipped by. _

_Finally, frustration got the better of him and he shouted an angry, "Fuck it!" Before raising his wand and sending every spell he could possibly think of at the darkness. This went on for some time before he finally gave up and lowered himself to the ground panting slightly. He then looked down, wondering what the bloody hell he was sitting on if this place was made of darkness. _

_Glass. Glass was the answer, Sirius suddenly felt sick as he looked through it to see nothing but more dark. This only made him angrier however; he utterly loathed the feeling of being behind glass. Like some kind of demented tropical fish far from it's original home after being bagged up and jerkily handled until he was tipped into a fake reality. **A metaphor**, he wondered finally… **no too close to what actually happened**. For all he knew he might as well be that fish._

_Shaking slightly out of pure rage and some helplessness he stumbled to his feet again and looked around again. The darkness enveloped him and he began to feel closterphobic and nostalgia made the hairs on the back of his neck stand. He shook his head in an attempt to clear his thoughts and looked down again. He wasn't going to stay here the rest of his life, he refused. He was going to break the glass. _

_The prospect of this scared him for a second. The what-ifs built in his head, he pushed them away, anything was better than this at this point. He was even beginning to think he would have preferred Azkaban. He jumped up and down to check the give. There was none, but Sirius Black wouldn't be phased in the least and he shot the most powerful spell he had at the ground. _

_To his great surprise the ground broke and he felt himself tumbling through the blackness. Now the thought decided to pop into his head. Maybe this wasn't the smartest way to go Sirius… he thought to himself as he continued to fall. _

_After what seemed like days falling he finally hit the bottom. His legs persisted on staying down for a while, when he did get up he wobbled dizzily, the weakness in his legs becoming even more pronounced as he stumbled though the blackness again. He wondered what good breaking through the glass did, nothing much had changed._

_Then he saw it. Light shimmered from behind a curtain in the distance, toying with his ability to think straight. Slowly like a moth drawn to a lantern he stumbled towards the curtain, the voice in the back of his head telling him this was too good to be true. _

_Soft whispers brushed into his ears calling him softly away from the light, telling him to be aware of the consequences of going through. Reminding him of the solitude of living in the real world. Beckoning him back into the darkness with voices as soft as velvet. Sirius stopped and wheeled around looked around longingly for the sources of the voices. The first he had heard in what seemed like years. _

_The light behind the curtains was dimming and seemed to be moving away. Sirius watched for a second wondering if he should run to catch it, but feeling the draw of the voices fill his ears with promises of friendship and other things he could only imagine in his wildest dreams._

_He shook his head trying to clear it of the voice and think rationally. It took all of his willpower to take a step forwards towards the light. The voice hissed with rage and Sirius had to cover his ears in order to concentrate fully on what he was doing. _

_Sirius defiantly took another step towards the curtain a smile slowly creeping onto his face as he took yet another step. This enraged the voice even more until he reached the curtain and it stopped abruptly. He was no fool this place was wrong and he was leaving. With a final nod he reached out his hand and swung open the curtain, hoping to find Bellatrix right where he left her. _

_Instead, he found himself in a dark room. He recognized it as the department of mysteries. Now the question was, he guessed, how long had he been behind that sodding curtain?_

_He walked out of the Ministry un-noticed. Quite a feat, if he thought about it long enough, even if it was nighttime at the Ministry proved to be busy. He thanked his maurdering skills for that and with a wiry grin wondered what the building full of aurors would do if they knew he was with-in the enemy camp and drinking from the abandoned coffee pots with vigor._

_Slowly, he walked out of the building, still completely dumbfounded as to how he could just walk around the Ministy without being noticed. He stopped a moment wondering where to go, he thought about Privet Drive for a second then, shook his head. He hated the idea but finally decided on Grimmauld Place. He would probably catch at least one of the Order._

_He closed his eyes and felt himself apparate into the street in front of the house he grew up in. He swayed slightly as he became increasingly light-headed. He ended up leaning against a light post and waiting for the dizziness to end. He was panting slightly, this made him think, it NEVER took this much out of him to apparate before. He found this information very disturbing as he stared at the house across the street._

_Finally, he stood again and wandered across the street making his way very slowly up the steps and towards the door. He hesitated as he wondered whether to knock or just walk inside. Then, he opted for knocking and did so 3 times. _

_As he waited for an answer he paced the step, wondering who was home, what they would think when they saw him, and how long he had been gone. The wait was killing him, his fingers found the doorbell and pulled twice, still waiting for an answer. His world started spinning, he felt so weak. _

_He rang one more time hoping if the occupants were asleep they weren't heavy sleepers. Finally he moved to the handle.__Unease and his lack of patience making his movements more decided. _

**Unease and his lack of patience making his movements more decided. Yes it's short, please review! and if you think of an amazingly awesome name, please lemme know. Cudos!**

_**W-B-D **_


	2. Chapter 2

_**Hi! I'm back, quick? I think so, same day update, that's pretty good for me. But I can't take all the credit, I've had this part of the fic done for a month now and only now found some time to post… But you guys are quicker, I've just posted the prologue 10 minutes ago and I already have an AWESOME REVIEW! From: Hexed. Thank you thank you thank you! You rock:Hearts:**_

_**The first suggestion for a name is: Tension**_

_**Vote for this name or create your own name for this fic in a review . Don't forget to REVIEW and tell me what you think, even if you are impossible with names like me.**_

_**Thank-you to: My ever-supportive Beta, Evergreen-Baby, and my reviewer Hexed. **_

_**DISCLAIMER: don't own a thing, wish I did, but I don't. **_

_**Without further adu: **_

GPGPGPGPGPGPGPGPGPGPGPGPGPGPGPGPGPGPGPGPGPGPGPGPGPGPGPGP

Hermione having been rudely awakened by the bloody doorbell yawned widely. The clock beside her bed read 3:28 AM. Her bushy hair afroed around her head as she pulled on a robe grudgingly and attempted to tame her hair slightly before making her way down the stairs. House sitting was a bitch.

Taking out her wand she smiled as she heard Moody's voice in her head; _Constant vigilance._ She heard the door handle jiggle and her heart rate went up tenfold. Then she heard a bang, like someone had thrown themselves at the door and a crash, as they fell over apparently not succeeding.

Hermione stifled a giggle as she thought about Remus coming in drunk and love-sick. Not that it had happened but that was the most likely. Especially with Tonks and him being engaged. She heard a groan from outside and remembered that she was opening the door. She took the last few steps more confidently now.

She then swung open the door, wand still in hand and looked around. No one was there. She took a step forward suspiciously and hit another foot. She looked down and almost screamed. There, slightly unconscious was someone she was quite sure had died, almost 8 years ago.

She paled and bent down beside his body, noting his chest moving up and down, which she took for a good sign. He looked exactly the same as he had erm… she struggled with the phrase, left them. He was even wearing the same thing. His eyelids fluttered and he let out another moan. Hermione bit her lip wondering if it would be alright to move him.

Finally she decided that it would be better if she took him out of the cold night. It was starting to rain and she didn't want to put his body through anymore distress. She hesitated when it came to touching him, wondering if this was really happening. What was Harry going to think?

Finally she opted for levitating him upstairs. When she got him to the top she chose his old room, which currently housed Harry and placed him gently onto the bed. Thoughts and questions filled her brain little buzzing hornets, she wanted to shout at the man WHERE THE HELL HAVE YOU BEEN? But restrained herself as she felt his head. He was feverish.

She conjoured a bowl and cloth, then some cool water and placed the compress on his head. He groaned again but said nothing. He needed a doctor, she was no doctor, but everyone thought he was dead. She shook her head and sat on the bed beside him, his legs were bruised. Timidly she placed her hand on his shoulder and moved it back and fourth in attempt release the tension in his ridged body.

Gradually she felt him relax as he slipped off to sleep. Hermione sighed and decided to stay in the room and watch over him. She was anxious to find out what happened and slightly worried about his health. She summoned up a chair and waited, keeping watch on his still form. She changed the compress now and then and sat back, listening to the thudding sound of rain hitting the roof.

At that point she felt so alone. Taking up a quill and some parchment she began to write. She wrote to Remus first, he was the closest and knew more about Sirius's past and medical instances. Then she scribbled something for Harry, he was out of the country on auror business and wasn't expected back for another six months. She then decided that not too many people should know about this for now and put her quill down. She then summoned her owl Socrates and gave him the letters.

When she was finished she leaned back on her chair and just watched Sirius. He hadn't aged a bit. His black hair was long and silky made his slightly pale but well proportioned face stand out. His pronounced jaw line a signature to his 'Black' bloodline. The stubble on his face slightly more prominent than when she had last saw him. His strong but slender arms collapsed at his sides and his thin but strongly defined figure stood out through his robes.

Hermione bit her lip, she hoped Remus would get here soon, she wasn't sure what else to do with him. Talking up a book she had summoned to his bead side she began to read.

GOODMORNINGSUNSHINEGOODMORNINGSUNSHINEGOODMORNINGSUN

Sirius awoke slowly; he could feel the pale morning sun warming his face. He groaned and slowly turned around not bothering to open his eyes. The feeling of the soft bed comforted him. The he realized he didn't have any memory of getting to a bed, and promptly opened his eyes.

As the blur subsided he realized he was not alone. There, sitting in a squashy chair book resting precariously on her stomach and head back with mouth lolling open was a woman. He blinked a few times, taking a while for the thought process to continue.

The woman sighed slightly and opened her eyes. She blinked twice and yawned, before she noticed she wasn't the only one awake in the room. Forgetting her book she jumped out of the chair with a slight scream and then groaned, sleeping in a chair all night had done a number on her neck. "S-Sirius?" She asked not believing what she was seeing after so many years.

Sirius recognized that voice anywhere, Hermione. Grown up Hermione but Hermione, all the same. She was taller, her hair was darker and more curly, she was, better proportioned, more slender and filled out, her eyes were almond shaped and a burnt sugar colour. She was no longer the young woman he had come to know as his godson's good friend but a beautiful woman.

"Hi." He said attempting to sit up, his voice was rough from un use and he barely recognized it as his own. He stared back at the girl who looked utterly stunned. "Sirius, it's Hermione, Hermione Granger." She said slowly as she tried to get her emotions in check.

Sirius grinned at her reaction, "You're the only Hermione I've ever known, you know." He said. Hermione blushed, she couldn't help but run over to him and give him a hug, he was back. Sirius was slightly taken aback but ended up hugging back. Her soft hair swept over his fingers and tickled as the bookish woman sighed.

She pulled back slowly and glanced into his blue gray eyes. The questions that had been buzzing around her head the last night came buzzing back and she gave him a frown, biting back a question and instead she said "Harry will be pleased your back."

Sirius frowned and glanced around, "So you two are, um" He stopped talking when he spotted the look she was giving him. "I'm house sitting for a few months, we aren't, together." She explained frowning. Sirius nodded.

Sirius cleared his throat, "So erm, where is he?" Sirius asked shaking his head again. Hermione frowned, "I-I'm not really sure, some kind of aruor mission or something, I sent him a post last night." Hermione said frowning slightly.

Sirius looked surprised, he ran a hand through his hair slowly, "An aruor! How long have I been gone?" He asked looking slightly alarmed, "8 years next week." Hermione said softly, not knowing how he was going to take the news.

He looked like he was going to jump out of bed, but he restrained himself and settled for paling considerably. He took a large gulp and shook his head. "I was in that bloody dark for 8 years?" He asked no one in particular, hearing it out loud made it sound even more un likely.

Hermione didn't know what to say, the man sitting in front of him looked at a loss for words, "Do you want some coffee? Maybe some breakfast? We can talk more downstairs. I'm sure you'll be pleased at what we've done to the house." Hermione said giving Sirius a re-assuring smile. Sirius thought for a second and nodded, his stomach growled, if it had really been 8 years since he had eaten anything food might be a good thing.

"That sounds wonderful." He said finally. "Can you walk, do you reckon?" Hermione asked. Sirius frowned, "I'm not quite sure, but I guess we'll see won't we." He said giving her a grin and slowly swinging his legs off the edge of the bed. "You had quite a fever last night." Hermione said standing, to make sure he had something to lean on if he suddenly felt he was going to fall.

Sirius glanced over at the bowl of water sitting on the bedside table. "Thanks, Hermione, for staying up." He said quietly, before getting up in one swift motion. He stood for a moment, teetering as he tried to find his center of gravity. The world swam for a moment, but he blinked the blur away and leaned on the bedside table for support.

Hermione watched and waited until he was steady before offering her arm for him. He hesitated for a second before taking it and slowly they both made their way out of the room. When they made it to the stairs Sirius stopped. Hermione looked up at him and examined his face. He was ghost pale, "Are you going to be alright with the stairs?" She asked listening intently to his harsh breathing.

Sirius turned and looked into her eyes, "Fine love, just realized I haven't had a good snogg in 8 years." He said giving her a weary smile. Hermione chuckled and tightened her grip around his firm torso. Sirius laughed, " Ladies first," He said motioning towards the stairs. Hermione gave him a questioning glance, "I'll be alright, slow mind you, but alright." He said motioning for her to go first.

"Besides, now I can see what you've done with this ruddy old house." Sirius added. Hermione smiled, "Alright, call if you need me, I'll make us some food. Preferences?" She asked finally. "As long as it's food I'll eat it." Sirius said shrugging.

Hermione gave him one more nod, before walking down the stairs and disappearing behind a wall. Sirius grimaced, oh how he loathed having to need help getting around a house.

Slowly, he made his way down the staircase, it was a painful rate for one who was used to be in perfect physical health. Tightly grasping the railing he slowly inched his way down the stairs. He noticed the house elf heads had disappeared replaced with pictures varying from Dumbledore in overalls, Harry, Ron and Hermione at Hogwarts graduation and even pictures of the maruraders themselves grinned and waved at him as he descended the long stair well. He had to stop at the one of Harry on a broomstick wearing a Chudley Cannons jersey in one of his signature dives. He looked so much like James it was impeccable, Sirius thought grinning.

When he got the bottom he got the surprise of a lifetime, that utterly horrid painting of his mother was still there but, the curtain was down and she had been graffitied upon. The part Sirius liked the most however was the fact that she had had her mouth burnt off. When she saw him her eyes went wide and he only grinned. She glared and he grinned, her not being able to flap her mouth at him pleased him more than being out from behind that curtain. He even had the piece of mind as he wobbled past her to flash her the finger before entering the living room.

It had changed completely, instead of the dark colours accented with green and silver; the room was painted a pale yellow, light streamed into the room though the front window potted plants were placed everywhere, the wooden floor was re-done and was stained a mahogany colour. A muggle stereo donned the corner and two great big squashy couches filled the room.

Sirius couldn't help but smile. Finally, this seemed like a place he could live in. Then he reminded himself that this was Harry's house now. Sirius smiled at the Chudley Cannons poster hanging above one on the couches, Harry was standing in the middle of a bunch of players, the snitch hovering just above his forehead. A goofy grin plastered on his face.

He heard Hermione close a cupboard in the kitchen. "You alright Sirius?" She asked leaning out of the kitchen and giving him a questioning glance. Sirius nodded, "I like what you've done with the place," he said motioning around the room with a smile. "I especially like what you've done with mother." He added giving her a wink. Hermione smiled, "Molly, Ginny and I did most of the decorating, but that was mainly Harry's idea, he decided to keep that around as a tribute to you." She said giving a wistful look towards the front door.

" Just wish I had thought of that," Sirius said following her gaze. "Weasley Wizzarding Wheazes" Hermione said smiling. Sirius was intrigued, "They are doing well then?" He asked. Hermione nodded, "Everyone is." She said with a hint of sadness in her voice, she then ducked back into the kitchen.

Sirius was slightly confused and was going to ask what that was all about, when he was cut off by a large pop just behind him. "Hermione!" A familiar voice cried. "I got your post but Tonks wouldn't let me out of the bloody house until we decided on the flowers for the centerpieces…" Remus concluded sounding exasperated.

Sirius turned around and looked at his best friend. Remus was dressed in dark blue robes, he was facing the other way glancing around the room. "She's in the kitchen Rem." Sirius said crossing his arms. Remus wheeled around, his eyes wide. "Who are you?" He asked his eyes landing on Sirius. "Who do you think Moony? I'll give a hint, he's standing right in front of you." Sirius said rolling his eyes

Remus paled. "You've got to be kidding, he's been dead 8 years." Remus said running a hand through his hair. "Pretty good glamour though Hermione, if I'd have known you were so bored we could have came and stayed with you for a while." Remus commented. "We?" Sirius asked looking confused.

Remus sighed, "Fine if you really are Sirius…" He started, but was cut off by Hermione poking her head out of the kitchen. "How do you like your eggs?" She asked Sirius spatula in hand. She seemed to have been waiting for the opportune moment to pop out of the kitchen.

"Scrambled, don't cook them to long. I can't stand rubbery eggs." Sirius said pointedly to Remus more than Hermione. Remus froze. "Did you want some eggs as well Remus?" Hermione asked cocking an eyebrow. Remus just shook his head; Hermione took that as a no and went back to the kitchen.

"Padfoot?" Remus asked still uncertain. "It's me mate." Sirius said with a laugh. Remus took a few steps and they ended up hugging. "I thought you were dead." Remus said stunned. "For a while there I thought I was dead too." Sirius commented stepping back.

It was quiet for a second, as they both looked each other over, "You haven't aged a day!" Remus exclaimed. "Really?" Sirius said putting a hand to his face. Remus nodded sending Sirius a grin. "You didn't know?" Remus questioned. "I just got back, I haven't even showered yet." Sirius said grinning, "That explains the smell." Remus commented looking around.

"Who's we?" Sirius asked going back to his original question. "I'm engaged." Remus said looking sheepish. Sirius cocked an eyebrow. "To whom?" He asked finally, "Your cousin." Remus said rocking back and fourth on his heels. Sirius looked horrified. "The nice one?" Remus offered with a frown. "Neffi! Hell Remus I'm proud, she's way out of your league." Sirius exclaimed with a smirk. "Who are you to tell me what league I'm in?" Remus asked.

Sirius shrugged, "Who are you to deny me the pleasure of putting you in a league?" He asked cocking an eyebrow. Both men burst out in laughter, it was an old, very old, joke between the two. There was another loud pop and Tonks appeared in front of them both. "Guessing this is a joyous occasion then?" She asked placing her hands on her hips.

Both Remus and Sirius stared. "Hey cuz, thought you were dead." She said turning towards Sirius, who laughed even harder. "You knocked up my cousin!" He exclaimed motioning towards Tonk's pregnant belly. "How do you know it was him?" Tonks asked mysteriously. Remus smiled, "Have you been cheating on me again woman?" He asked sarcastically. Tonks only smiled. "You know, a woman only cheats when she's not getting what she needs at home." Sirius said with a shrug he gave Remus a look of innocence. Remus glared daggers, Tonks walked over to him and rubbed his back, "Oh, baby, I'm getting more than what I need…" She whispered, Remus crossed his arms and smirked at Sirius.

Sirius frowned and turned the other way, "Sure, ignore the guy that just came back to life after 8 years." He said pouting, he then shot Remus a look of pure contempt. "8 bloody years indeed." He said with a hint of bitterness.

Hermione stuck her head out of the kitchen again, "Hello Tonks, would you like some breakfast?" She asked smiling. Tonks nodded and walked into the kitchen, Remus and Sirius followed. "Good morning Hermione." Remus greeted as they came into the kitchen. He walked over to her and placed his hand on her shoulder before helping her finish off cooking.

Sirius and Tonks both sat down. It was silent for a moment as everyone got comfortable before Tonks finally spoke up. "So how'd you do it then?" She asked. Sirius smiled and told his story, when he got to the part when he apparated across the street he got a little fuzzy. "How did I get in the house?" he asked.

Hermione frowned, "Well first you knocked on the door then you rang the bell and as I was getting down the stairs you wiggled the handle and then you erm… Ran into the door and fell down. I found you on the doorstep on your back. So naturally I levitated you upstairs" Hermione said blushing. Sirius nodded, "I vaguely remember running into the door." He commented.

After receiving the blank stares he added, "What? I was desperate, I thought no one was home." Sirius tried to explain. The three just shook their heads. Sirius smiled dumbly. The four ate in silence for a moment and then Tonks got up, "Well, I'm off, I've got a report due at the ministry. Stop bloody moving around in there!" She exclaimed rolling her eyes at her stomach.

Remus grinned, "Already a trouble maker." He explained with a wry grin. Sirius laughed, it felt weird, Moony was having a child. Sirius always knew he would make a good father, but it did come as a shock. Remus then stood as well, "I'll come with you, I have to report Sirius is alive again." He said giving his friend a grin.

"And spread the word." Remus added with a wink towards Hermione. With that Tonks apparated out, giving Sirius a grin. Remus frowned, "Have you told him he's off yet?" He asked turning towards Hermione, who shook her head. "You were cleared!" They both exclaimed in unison.

Sirius was floored, "That git Crouch was canned when they found out he was with holding information and you were dubbed a hero and cleared on account of new evidence." Remus explained with a grin as he checked his watch and jumped. "I must be off, Tonks and I decided Spanish dancing for the wedding Hermione, lots of muggle stuff you know." He said waving his hand haphazardly, then he apparated out.

Hermione and Sirius were left in silence once again, Sirius finally put down his fork, anger bubbled deep inside of him and he got up roughly pushing back his chair. Hermione looked up startled by the sudden noise.

Sirius was glaring at the sink like it had just killed his dog. Hermione opened her mouth and closed it again, what had she said? Was it her? Was it Remus or Tonks? "So they cleared me after they thought I was dead? That's bloody brilliant, they didn't even give me a trial you know. They just shipped me out to that bloody island for 12 years!" Sirius was shaking with rage now. Hermione wasn't sure what to say to calm him down.

He was right and he had right to be angry, in total he had missed a total of twenty years not being able to do anything he wanted to do. Twenty years was a hell of a long time. She looked up again and Sirius was looking out the window. He was taking long deep breaths and she could see he was trying to calm down.

When he finally did look up he saw her watching him out of the corner of his eye. "I'm sorry Hermione, I didn't mean to…" He started but stopped when she raised her hand. "Don't apologize, I understand you have a right to be angry Sirius. But what happened, happened in the past and now you get to make up that time with freedom." Hermione said frowning.

Sirius nodded and looked away, his mind elsewhere. His gray eyes sparkled with angry youth that he had hardly experienced… Well she knew he had experienced youth, Hogwarts still wore the scars of that youth, but his twenties were something he had missed most of. Hermione felt compassion for the man in front of her. But she too also knew of wasted youth. The war had been hard on her and she had had to do a lot of things that she wouldn't have dreamed of during her years at Hogwarts.

She had killed, plotted deaths and taken prisoners, she had been as ruthless as a muggle bounty hunter and the worst part was that she didn't even feel any remorse until after the war was over and she got the shock of her life. No one else really seemed to care that they killed so many people and just moved on.

Hermione shook her head slowly and picked up her fork again, although she wasn't really hungry anymore. She felt Sirius give a shuttering sigh before coming back and sitting back down across from Hermine. "Sorry," He apologized in a cracked voice. "It just all sank in back there I guess…" He said, his voice trailed off.

Hermione nodded, "I understand Sirius, you don't have to apologize. Although I do have to apologize for my behaviour." Hermione said picking up her plate as well and taking it to the sink. Sirius raised his eyebrows, "For what? You don't have to apologize for anything." Sirius said, his brow ruffling.

Hermione faced Sirius again, "Yes, yes I do and if I don't it will continue to stay on my conscious." She said shaking her head, "I was a being a prat 8 years ago, I should have never argued to you about going out of the house and what to tell Harry. I realize now that you must have felt so stuffy in this house all alone and that you had the right to tell Harry what ever you saw fit to tell him." Hermione confessed looking ashamed.

Sirius looked stunned for a moment and then laughed, long and hard with his bark of a laugh. Hermione stared at him wide eyed and then frowned, her arms slowly crossing over her chest. He looked up, saw her and abruptly stopped. An eyebrow raising above his hairline and disappearing under his mop of messy black hair.

"I was being serious." Hermione said frowning. "I'm Sirius luv, you don't need to bloody well apologize for any of that, I was being more stupid than you were. You had a good point Hermione. Besides I probably wouldn't of done anything different anyways." Sirius said with a cheeky grin. Hermione let a slight smile cross her face as she magiked the dishes to wash themselves.

"So," Sirius said shifting uncomfortably. "What did you have planned for today?" He asked. Hermione frowned, "Nothing much, I have the rest of the week off." Hermione said frowning, and then she added, "It's Wednesday today."

Sirius grinned, "The rest of the week off huh? Where do you work?" He asked. "Gringgots, I'm working on protection spells for all of the vaults." Hermione said off handedly. "Sounds dreadfully dull." Sirius commented as he walked into the living room followed closely by Hermione, who nodded, "Yes, but it pays the bills."

She added. "Well we are going to have to do something about that now aren't we?" Sirius said grinning. "Like what?" Hermione asked. Sirius looked thoughtful, "How long has it been since you visited Hogsmead?" He asked. Hermione waved her hand, "Oh not since before the war." She said shaking her head. Sirius's eyes widened.

"The war? What happened?" Sirius asked. Hermione sighed. "Oh we won, and Voldemort was defeated and the death eaters are all in Askaban." Hermione said wearily. Sirius picked up on her look and frowned. "That's erm… bad then?" He asked. Hermione hit him in the arm lightly. "Oh, of course not. It was wonderful…" She said, her voice trailing off.

"So Hogsmead it is then?" Sirius asked, still worried slightly. "Yes, I guess we could." Hermione said smiling. "Excellent!" Sirius exclaimed clapping his hands together and standing. Then he got dizzy and fell back onto the couch again. Hermione laughed, "Are you sure you're up for that? I mean, you can barely stand." She said, her eyes dancing with amusement.

Sirius laughed, "As long as I can apparate I'll be just fine, luv." he said walking towards the door. Hermione remained sitting, there was a skeptical look on her face. "You realize what happened last time you apparated." She said crossing her arms again. Sirius laughed again, "Now I know why Ron and Harry were always afraid of you." He said with a wink.

Hermione smiled. "Fine, let me grab my purse." She said getting up and running up the stairs. Sirius smirked, he was leaving the house as a free, but assumed dead man. Well, it was better than a wanted man that was likely to get the dememtor's kiss.

When Hermione came back down they both apparated to hogsmead.

_**Thank-you all for reading! An update will come soon, hopefully by next weekend. Don't forget to review with a name for the fic or to vote for 'Tension' also let me know what you think and if you have any questions or comments feel free, no matter how flame-ie :) cudos!**_

_**W-B-D**_


	3. Chapter 3

**_So… that took longer than expected. Yes? I had a lot to do, including exams, it's been in the high 30's ferinheight(not the way to spell that) around here lately and hottness makes me tired (for obvious reasons), and other fics. I have the next chapter ready to go though so the more reviews I get the faster I'll update._**

_**DISCLAIMER: I AM NOT JK ROWLING! If I was I would be richer than the Queen and wouldn't need to post fanfiction cause I would have a book label… DUH! Also don't own any bands/artists mentioned in any way shape or form.**_

**FIC NAMES TO VOTE FOR:**

**_-GOING AGAINST SOCIAL NORMS From Serendipity-England-1922_**

_**-LOST TIME From SiriusBlackFan2**_

_**-TENSION once again from Hexed**_

**THANKS ALL!**

**Any other suggestions for names after you read this can be reviewed to me or VOTE FOR YOUR FAVORITE!**

**Thanks as well to my other reviewers and my beta, Evergreen-Baby! YOU ALL ROCK THANK YOU SO MUCH**!

**HOGSMEADHOGSMEADHOGSMEADHOGSMEADHOGSMEADHOGSMEAD**

Sirius and Hermione strolled down the streets of Hogsmead, stopping and laughing at all the new products that Hogsmead had to offer. Hermione was really starting to enjoy herself, it was nice to be back in Hogsmead. She had missed its many stores and pubs more than she knew, and it brought back memories of simpler times. She thought as she walked passed the sea of Hogwarts students mulling around the streets talking and laughing.

She looked over at Sirius and almost laughed, he looked like a kid in a candy shop, and about 10 years younger, as his eyes danced with happiness. They passed 'The Three Broomsticks' and he just about dragged her in. "Yes yes Sirius, I haven't had butter beer in a while either," Hermione exclaimed slightly annoyed.

"In 8 years Hermione?" Sirius said rolling his eyes, grabbing her elbow and guiding her into the pub. Hermione shrugged his arm off and walked on her own accord with a frustrated sigh. "I'm guessing your legs are feeling better then?" She asked.

Sirius walked past her and sat in one of the booths, "Oh, it wouldn't matter if I had two broken legs, and a purple pustule curse I always feel better in here…" His voice trailed off and Hermione sat down across from him and followed his gaze. Madame Rosa was bending down to pick up some glasses under the counter and facing the other way.

She then rolled her eyes, "You've been back less than 24 hours and your already eyeing the opposite sex." She tutted him. Sirius returned the eye roll with a wink, "Two reasons luv, not that I need them; number one Madame Rosetta and I have a very special relationship, which means she loves me to bits and number two, 24 hours is far too long." Sirius said smiling smugly, a look of triumph on his face.

Hermione let out a long wavering sigh and watched as Sirius made a fool of himself, "Oi Rose, miss me?" He yelled across the room. The bartender looked up with a start and turned around, with a start. A rosy colour true to her namesake flushed over her cheeks and nose.

Sirius turned to Hermione for a split second and mouthed an, 'I told you so' before turning back to his schoolboy crush. "S-Sirius Black?" She asked striding over to him. "The one and the same 'mam." Sirius said with a wide grin. Hermione mentally hit herself. This was going to be a long day.

**WHATSEEMEDLIKEMUCHLATERWHATSEEMEDLIKEMUCHLATERWHAT**

Sirius and Hermione bid Madame Rose farewell as they resumed their way through the streets of Hogsmead. Hermione was fuming, and finally she couldn't stay quiet "What are you thinking!" She almost yelled.

Sirius turned to her, "What do you mean?" he asked innocently. "Do you control my love life now?" He questioned further. Hermione blushed but stayed firm, "You haven't even showered and your already flirting up everyone you see. It's so typical!" Hermione exclaimed.

Sirius looked stunned. "Typical? You seem to be forgetting who you are talking to Hermione." He commented more than a little confused. "And for the record, I can't smell that bad." Sirius added sniffing the air in front of him.

Hermione only shook head. "I'm sorry it's just… ah never mind. We should head back anyways maybe then you can take a shower." Hermione said dully. She then apparated back to Grimuald Place. Sirius watched the spot she had apparated for a second before sniffing his arm shrugging and apparating back. Something was wrong, he wasn't sure what yet but something was bothering Hermione.

**GPGPGPGPGPGPGPGPGPGPGPGPGPGPGPGPGPGPGPGPGPGPGPGPGPGPGPGP**

When Sirius got back Hermione was nowhere to be seen. He walked across the empty house wondering where she was and finally decided to head to the bathroom and do what he had been repeatedly been told to do. He walked into his old bedroom and found a pair of jeans and a black long sleeved top, he assumed they were Harry's but they were slightly too big on him.

He took his new finds out of the bedroom and stopped as he passed the next bedroom over, it had been converted into what looked like a study. Hermione was sitting at a large mahogany desk, in front of her computer. Her head was in both her hands and she was staring down at the desk. She looked miserable.

Sirius watched her for a second as he leaned on the doorway and then shook his head, he told himself it wasn't the right time to have a conversation. Especially, if what both Remus and Hermione said about his um, lack of shower. He silently closed the door and walked down the hall and into the bathroom, closing the door with a quiet click.

He got the shock of his life when he looked in the mirror; he looked younger than when he had last seen himself. Which he thought was thoroughly incredible. His hair was longer and his stubble had turned into a very short beard. Which of course wouldn't do, he decided with a shake of his head.

He then undressed and slipped into the shower. When he was finished he shaved and got dressed, feeling much better he even applied some of the cologne in the medicine cabinet. He strolled out of the bathroom whistling a little tune to himself, not bothering to notice the house was as quiet as the dead. He was wondering how to cheer up Hermione, as he ascended the stairs and noticed something pink and sparkly in the living room and stopped. A grin slid onto his face and he doubled back and walked around to the kitchen.

There he found about ten people huddled by the entrance to the living room. He took attendance with a swift glance before ducking back into the hallway. He heard some low whispers coming from the small group and the smile on his face spread even more. He then waltzed into the kitchen and cleared his throat loud enough to make the whole group jump.

"Who are we waiting for?" Sirius asked in a low whisper as he tiptoed over and crouched beside Remus. Mrs. Weasley squeeled. "Oh, Sirius, it really is you!" She exclaimed running over to him and giving him a hug. "Thought you could pull one on old Sirius huh? Thought I was getting to old to smell a prank a mile away?" Sirius asked pulling back with a cheeky smile on his face. He glanced around at all the faces in the room, Mr. And Mrs. Weasley, Remus and Tonks, Hermione, Ron who was now sporting a goatee and Dumbledore who was smiling softly.

"Of course not, just a few meters." Came a familiar voice from behind him. Sirius wheeled around and found himself facing the two identical twins, wearing glamours of non other but him. The twins and himself were identical in every way except he was the only one that wasn't sporting a large pie. "God." Sirius whispered taking a step back. Both twins tossed the pies with well-trained aim and Sirius jumped out of the way just in time. Landing Remus a pie in the face, the other pie hit the floor with a sickening splat.

Sirius let out a sigh of relief and sat up. He got a pie on either side of his face, from Dumbledore and Ron whom were both laughing along with everyone else. Sirius got up and magiked away the pies. "We knew you'd come back mate, can't keep a good pranker down." Both twins exclaimed in unison. Sirius laughed and got to his feet with some help from Remus.

"Ah I almost didn't believe it when Remus told me about you." Arthur exclaimed slapping Sirius on the back. "Already spreading gossip Rem? Might lead me to believe that you guys had nothing better to do." Sirius said cocking an eyebrow mostly in the twin's direction. "In honor of your triumphant return," One explained coming over to shake his hand. "We decided to dress to match." The second twin said patting him on the shoulder.

The likeliness to himself was truly amazing, from the stubble on his face to the voice. "Excellent!" Sirius exclaimed he then messed the twins and himself and then one of them asked, "Okay, which one is the real one?" All of them were wearing identical grins.

Half the group of on lookers moaned and the other half chuckled. "Mum and dad can't guess that would be cheating." The one in the middle exclaimed. "George…" Arthur said pointing to an empty space behind him. The middle Sirius walked forward changing into a red headed, grinning, twin. The other two Sirius's grinned even more madly.

Hermione watched this display with a smile playing across her face. She glanced over at George and caught his eye. He winked ever so slightly and Hermione almost gasped, it wasn't a twin, it was Sirius with a very well done glamour done on himself.

Hermione then glanced back at the other two who were now dancing and rolled her eyes she glanced over at Sirius again who was still in twin form and he held his finger to his lips, his eyes sparkled. She saw Dumbledore watching them through the corner of her eye and a small smile crept on her face slowly. A genuine smile was something she seemed to be doing very little of lately.

A bell rang out through the house and Mrs. Weasley snapped into action, that's the pot roast she mumbled and she sped out of the house. Both Sirius's began to chant 'Food' as they continued to dance. Finally Dumbledore flicked his wand and all the glamour's in the room were un-done. The lone twin was now back to a grinning Sirius and the Sirius twins were back to the Weasley twins who looked at each other with dismay before they looked up at Sirius and identical grins spread on their faces.

Everyone but Hermione and Dumbledore looked surprised and Ron shook his head and sat down on the couch. "Cheer up little bro." Fred said walking over to him and placing a hand on his shoulder. Ron looked up at them with a sigh. "Yeah, have a Canary Cream." George added coming up on Ron's other side holding a custard filled tart.

Mrs. Weasly bustled in holding a carafe of gravy and levitating a large steaming pot roast to the table. Dumbledore gracefully took the gravy and placed it gently on the table before conjuring up the place settings and plates.

Everyone sat around the table as the smell of the delicious roast filled the room with the mouth-watering smell of food. The dinner conversation started and became a dull roar as everyone tucked in. Hermione sighed and took up her fork with less enthusiasm then she would have almost a year ago. Not to be gotten wrong Mrs. Weasley's cooking was always a treat but she never seemed to feel like she deserved it anymore. There were a lot of things she felt she didn't deserve anymore. She thought glumly as she stabbed at her roasted potato and looked at the decorations cheerfully donning the walls.

She looked up over the table and noticed Ron discussing his new facial hair with his mother who still wasn't pleased about the whole thing, she glanced over at Dumbledore who was sitting across beside Ron and was glancing down at his own beard, which he had tucked over his shoulder, for eating purposes, and smiling slightly.

She then looked over at Remus and Tonks, they were chatting avidly with Sirius who was laughing now. Mr. Weasley was talking to the twins about one thing or another. Hermione sighed and listened into some conversation before zoning out completely.

"Hermione? Hermione?" Hermione opened her eyes and saw Molly looking at her with concerned eyes. She realized everyone was done eating and had their dishes away. Most were avidly awaiting to finish so that they could have a good crack at Molly's delicious pudding.

Ron cocked an eyebrow curiously in Hermione's direction but she shook her head. "Just thinking." She explained shaking it off and sending her plate to the kitchen.

Dessert went quickly and everyone went home happy and full until finally only Remus, Ron and Sirius remained. The twins had to go home early because they had to open shop early the next day and needed their quote: beauty sleep.

All of them were in the kitchen enjoying a drink except Hermione who refused to get drunk and remained pleasantly sober. Everyone was describing the picture on the stairwell adamantly with Sirius who was laughing. "Dumbledore in overalls?" He managed to laugh. "He had a sock over his beard so that he wouldn't get paint on it! Because we were painting the muggle way you see, because dad wanted to know what it was like, and when he got word he apparated right out here all ready and knocked on the door. It was brilliant." Ron exclaimed.

"You'd bloody well think so then wouldn't you?" Sirius sputtered just about spilling his drink all over himself. Hermione laughed, "You should have been there Sirius honestly." She exclaimed with a chuckle. "I wish I had been." Sirius commented a little quieter, the mood in the room seemed to change automatically as the four friends took in the situation. They were all glad to see Sirius yes, but they had taken a long time to understand fully that he was gone. Even Remus who was there to witness that sad night had a hard time convincing himself that his best friend and fellow mauarder was gone.

Then Sirius stood up, and clambered onto the large wooden table they were sitting at, then he cleared his throat. "I. Sirius Black would just like to say I WAS NOT DEAD rather, I was a FISH. YES a fish in a tank of LIES!" Sirius stated before tripping off the table, getting up quickly and plopping himself back into his chair. The other three were quiet as they stared; then Sirius started clapping, the rest soon followed and Ron even let out a cheer before downing the rest of his drink and slamming the empty tankard on the table. What he didn't realize however was that the table was three inches from where he was going to slam his drink and the cup shattered on the ground. Ron let out a little cry of surprise.

"Ron! When did you get here?" Sirius asked looking surprised. The house roared with laughter except for Sirius who was in fact dead serious. Hermione stood up. "I think it's time we all went to bed." She said intending to intervene. Sirius's face fell. "But Ron just got here." He said disappointedly.

**THENEXTMORNINGTHENEXTMORNINGTHENEXTMORNINGTHENEXT**

Sirius woke with a start, a painful start. The hangover was huge, the biggest one he had had since; he groaned, in more than eight years. Memories flooded back to him and he curled himself up even further into the white linen sheets.

Footsteps echoed on the hallway's wooden floors and outside his room. LOUD footsteps. Then came a head splitting boom on his door and he covered his head with the sheets once more. Staring with contempt at the noisy door from beneath them. The door opened silently and a slender hand grasping a goblet and a piece of parchment came in and left him gifts before the hand retreated back from whence it came and the door closed with a deafening CLUNK.

Sirius lifted the sheet up and glanced at the new comers, he sniffed slightly and caught a hint of his own recipe of hangover healer and raised his eyebrows. _Impressive Hermione._ He then slowly made his way off his bad and onto the floor, before crawling over to the potion, plugging his nose and downing the entire thing. He sat on the floor a while waiting for the potion to kick in then picked up the parchment.

It blurred for a second as he tried to regain focus in the dark room and then the potion started to kick in. There were two pieces of parchment one was a letter from the ministry acknowledging that they had excepted Remus's proposal to enstate form B of the uncertain death clause which stated accidental come-back from above noted cause of uncertain death. Sirius scratched his head and summed up the paper to 'You're alive again in our eyes, sorry for the inconvenience.' It was signed by Minister Bones, this pleased him more than the confusing letter did.

The second piece of parchment was written in small neat scrawl, it was from Hermione. It said that she was sorry but she had been called into work that day and had to leave immediately.

Sirius got up onto his feet slowly and walked, well, stumbled out of the door. The world was a blur for a second before he blinked it away and descended the stairs and to the source of the alluring smell of coffee. It was a sunny spring day outside and Hermione had left the windows open in order to air out the large house. He could smell the fresh smell of laundry in the air and he watched as the woman across the road hung her towels and sheets on the line she had set up.

The house was bright and airy, potted plants lined the window sills and the white silk curtains poofed out as they filled with the fresh breeze. He walked into the kitchen and found the coffee set up in the carafe and raspberry jam on the counter. A smile quirked the edge of his lips as he thought about how sterile he would have envisioned Hermione's future house, eight years ago. He glanced around at the disarray of the kitchen, a green top was draped over a chair and half of it was on the floor. Burnt toast lay in the sink and a spilt mug of what looked like tea lay on the counter.

Sirius shook his head again and reached for the back pocket of the jeans he had fallen asleep in and took out his wand. With a few flicks the kitchen was back in order. Then he poured himself a cup of coffee and strolled back into the living room. He noted the muggle stereo in the corner and strolled over to it. Wondering vaguely what Hermione might listen to. He had some experience with records and CDs. Mostly because during his stint in school he did anything he could get his hands on that was even remotely muggle, to piss off his proudly pure blood mother.

Needless to say he found muggle music excellent and once he had moved out he had started a collection of his own. That collection soon turned into an obsession and he became an expert in such bands as the Beatles, Queen, Billy Idol and the Sex Pistols. Not that he didn't touch the other genres, he had most defiantly drabbled in everything he could get his hands on and often found himself tuning into muggle radio stations, especially when he had been left in hiding in Grimuald Place.

Then he remembered eight years had gone by and the new stuff he had been listening to was really old now. Sirius sighed and ran a hand through his hair. Everything had changed so much. He took a sip of his coffee and slowly pushed the play button on the machine. Music blasted through the surround sound so loud it made the whole house shake and made his hang over was back full blast. Quickly and jerkily he reached out and turned the knob for volume until the sound was bearable.

Okay, so James Blunt wasn't his cup of tea, damn, it wasn't even his cup of hangover potion. It was, however, something to drown out the quiet peacefulness of the morning. No matter how mushy it was. Then the song changed and Sirius just about spat out his coffee. Metal, heavy metal, Three Days Grace to be exact, Sirius thought to himself as he checked the display on the CD player.

_Damn! The first song was just a distraction she likes rock!_ Sirius thought with a grin. He reached out slowly and started flipping through the disk and concluded that it was, in fact, brilliant. Depressing, but brilliant. He wondered suddenly whether she had turned to music after the war, no one had really talked much about it yet and he was slightly curious about what happened. He decided to ask Remus the next time he saw him.

Sirius got back to the first song, skipped it and started walking through the house, wondering what he should be doing with himself in an empty house. He then remembered that there was a computer upstairs and decided to investigate; coffee still in hand.

He entered the computer room, it too was messy, used tissues dotted the desk, with out a second thought vanished them before he moved the mouse that removed the screensaver. Again thanking his mother for his wonderful computer skills. The desktop was pretty standard and he decided not to snoop, it was Hermione. Then he realized one window had been left on the bottom task bar and he decided to take a look at what she had been working on. _This is interesting…_

**HERMIONEGETSHOMEHERMIONEGETSHOMEHERMIONEGETSHOME**

Hermione got home from another stressful day at Gringotts. The goblins weren't very accepting of the new method of vault guarding and she had been called in to help argue on behalf of the wizards working on the guarding spells. By the end of the day she wanted so send as many hexes as possible at the little freaks but had restrained herself just enough in order to get out of the door, grumbling something about having to deal with this on her own vacation time.

She dropped her bag on the ground and was about to sit down before she finally realized her CD player was on and playing HER MUSIC! She then remembered her house guest and looked around slightly frantic. She hadn't wanted anyone to know about her slightly odd music preferences. Most people associated that kind of music with leather clad chainbanger muggles and however un-fond she was with the stereotype she preferred to stay away from it regardless. Her position in the wizzarding world was more important than her music preferences, no matter how devoted to it she was.

She waved that thought out of her mind quickly decided that she needed to take a bath. Glancing around once more for Sirius she ascended the stairs.

Sirius popped out of her office with a grin on his face. "Someone's got an online boyfriend!" He exclaimed with a wink. Hermione frowned, then looked into her office and went chalk pale. She had forgotten to close the window and obviously she hadn't been betting on Sirius knowing how to work a computer.

"What's wrong?" Sirius asked noticing her pale complexion. Hermione felt like she was going to faint.

**_There you go! More cliffhangers! You all must be glaring at the screen by now… or not… if you don't like cliffi's remember to breath and not to explode… that would be bad, you would never get to see how it ends! Remember review and I'll update faster! ALSO SUGGESTIONS OR VOTES FOR A TITLE ARE WELCOMED AND ENTHUSIASTICALLY EXCEPTED! Or just tell me what you think. Flames will be used to roast marshmallows! Yum_**

**_CUDOS:_**

**_W-B-D:)_**


	4. Chapter 4

Hey guys, it's been a long time. Apologies! It's a short chapter and one that I found really hard to write, it hits really close to home for me, so it took me a while to go over it again, and my beta is out of Province. The next chapter has a few bits written already so we'll see what happens. Reviews will probably make me update faster. 

**Oh, a little note before you read, the italics are supposed to be bad grammar and spelling, it's supposed to kind of give it an authentic-ness.**

**As always, thanks to my reviewers and beta, Evergreen-baby.**

DISCLAIMER: There once was a writer named Rowling, she earned a lot of pound sterling… I have non of that and will continue to get none of that cause I DON'T OWN ANY OF IT! The lawyers made me say that… well… ok I admit I added the nifty rhyme in the beginning… that was all me! Yeah! 

**CHAPTER 4: **

Hermione's brain reeled and suddenly rage got the best of her. She shoved Sirius out of the way and was about to delete the messages forever but was distracted by the misleading notes once more. They had seemed so real in the beginning and she found herself getting caught up in the words once more. She knew it was stupid. Hell he hadn't even had a way with words, but just the thought that he had actually taken the time to write down his feelings was enough to get her heart to melt again. But it had never been like it sounded and he had hurt her more than she could fathom…

_My Dear HermioneMy darling I have missed you so so much. Yeah you might think that it's only  
been two days since we talked but to me its a very, very long time. I honestly  
realized that I can't make it through a day without talking to you. So of  
course more than a day to me is complete torture. I swear I can't sleep and  
I feel like I can't breathe when days like this happen. I know this sounds  
really crazy and you know what's even more crazy...is that I am saying this   
truly from my heart and I still haven't seen you yet. Its more like you are  
all I ever think of now. I feel like I would die just to have a chance to get  
to see you. I haven't got the chance to o on msn and I don't exactly know  
when but my darling I will try to come on ASAP. How are you doing now my  
darling. I pray that you are better than the last time we talked. I hope  
you enjoyed your time at Ronald's party too. _

I miss you sugar like crazy and I wanna talk to you soon baby.Love  
Stephan

Tears were falling down her cheeks now and she ferociously hit delete and yet another note came up. She had memorized this one… she had been so taken aback that someone wanted to pay attention to her… it disgusted her; they had been in the middle of war for God's sake!

_Tell Me Why_

-Stephan  
Is it the words I say  
that would make you trun away.  
I do not mean for so  
but its sumthing I show  
tell me why would you go  
Leaving me thinking about you  
Wondering what I should do  
Always waiting to see you  
Wanting to get close to you  
Always having you in my mind  
Thinking of you now all the time  
Hoping to talk to you soon  
Wanting to rush the moon  
Impatiently waiting  
My patience is fading  
I now realize a new feeling  
Like you are the one to cause my healing  
I trust what I feel  
I think I know what is real  
I am waiting for the day I see you  
And dying for the day to be with youP.s. : This is what I want to tell you...Its more like this is the complete   
version of what I had begun to tell you. This is my first love poem so I  
hope you like it. Bye (L)  


She felt like screaming she felt so dirty! It had been 2 years ago for gods sake! She viciously deleted that one as well. Sirius reached out and grasped her shoulder but she shook him off. She had been stupid and naive. The last and final window opened this one was the worst she almost couldn't stand it.

_My darling Hermione,_

_I was so pleased to hear that we are finally going to meet in person. I feel so close to you already and I keep thinking that if you were to leave me I would kill myself. It's so nice that you are including your parents in the dinner. I cannot wait to meet the ones that made such a beautiful intelligent woman. I almost can't wait until we meet on Tuesday… miss you till then _

Untitled  
-StephenYou are so amazing  
You are very fascinating  
You are more than words can tell  
You make heaven out of the worst hell  
I swear that you are more than sweet  
Thinking of you now with every heart beat Chorus

I lay awake all night  
Finding a way to make it rite  
I've never felt this way before  
With confidence I'll walk this door  
Trying to make sense out of all  
Before I go crazy and fall  
----I want you to trust me  
Go beyond what you see  
Its what you feel  
So all what I say is real  
And all what you know is the deal  
Now I lay here  
Hoping the time is near  
I look into your eyes  
Knowing that you are the one  
That will think of me even when I am goneChorusI lay awake all night  
Finding a way to make it rite  
I've never felt this way before  
With confidence I'll walk this door  
Trying to make sense out of all  
Before I go crazy and fall  
---Because I haven't seen you  
Truth is I don't know what 2 do  
I believe in what you tell me  
I am blind and cannot see  
I trust you will make it with me  
Nothing but our trust is the key  
Even when I see your beauty  
Which from my blindness you free  
---  
Chorus x2  
I lay awake all night  
Finding a way to make it rite  
I've never felt this way before  
With confidence I'll walk this door  
Trying to make sense out of all  
Before I go crazy and fallP.s. Okay so this what I come up with while I was up all night thinking of  
you. This is just the beginning. There is more to come and better. I promise  
that all my love poems and lyrics will be only for you my darling. I will not  
write for any other girl. I hope you liked it. My first and there will be  
better. I hope to talk to you sooner than Tuesday. Tell me what you think about it.(L)

Hermione was on the floor now, she wasn't sure how she had gotten there but there she was sobbing once again. She couldn't stop, she had tried, she wasn't the strong person everyone thought she was. She was weak and she couldn't stop. She felt warm strong arms wrap around her and she pressed against her head against his shoulder as another round of sobbing came and she felt herself being lifted out of the room.

"What happened Hermione?" Sirius asked softly after a few minutes. He had placed her gently on the couch and was holding her hand softly. Completely dumbfounded as to what to do. Hermione let out a shuddering sigh. She hadn't told anyone. Not a soul, not even Harry or Ginny. She had put this pain upon herself by being open and civil to someone she didn't even know. She stayed quiet.

"Tell me Hermione." Sirius said a little surer of himself, obviously she had been hurt. Bad. "He killed my parents." Hermione whispered, more tears welling up in her eyes. "What!" Sirius exclaimed, he stood up and looked around, hoping to see one of the twins hopping up and telling him that it was a prank. It was a pretty sick prank. This beautiful woman was so broken. "He told me he was a squib and that he loved me. I believed him!" Hermione said forcefully. Sirius shook his head and gazed at the broken girl in front of him. He had known something was wrong but up until now; he didn't know what. "It turned out he was a death eater and when I ended up being late he killed them both!" Hermione sobbed. She wasn't sure why she was telling Sirius this, but she had to tell somebody. No one knew. The burden was getting to be unbearable.

Sirius's face had blanched since the last time she had looked up. "I haven't told anybody it was my fault yet. I was so stupid. They had wanted to kill me that night…" Hermione's voice faded into the silence of the darkening room. "When did this happen?" Sirius asked, his voice barely audible. "2 years ago. I killed him, I found him and I killed him." Hermione said, bitterness edging into her voice. Her hands clenched into fists. She still couldn't believe she was spilling her heart out to someone like Sirius.

"And no one knows what had been happening?" Sirius asked, surprised at the strength the young woman beside him possessed. "I think Ronald might have had some idea about the beginning e-mails, but other than that." Hermione looked down, her tear streaked face covered by the on coming shadows of dusk.

Sirius couldn't believe what he was hearing. None of the others had even noticed the change in her behavior? He found this hard to believe. Then he realized they probably thought it was the remnants from the war.

He had one question left, he couldn't not know why. "Why did you keep those letters though?" He asked softly. "To remind myself what a stupid mistake I had made. That's never going to happen to me again." Hermione explained with an edge to her voice. Sirius shook his head slowly. She was torturing herself; not allowing anyone else to get close. He doubted she would have told anyone if he hadn't found those E-mails.

Hermione looked up at him, make-up had melted and there were dark streaks running down her cheeks where the tears had fallen. "Now, if you'll excuse me, I think I'll go take a bath." She said getting up stiffly. Sirius nodded glumly and offered her his hand to help her up, she refused it and walked head held high out of the room. _I have to tell Remus… _ As if reading his thoughts she re-appeared at the doorway.

"Promise me you won't tell anyone Sirius…" She whispered. Her moist, jade green eyes pierced his with fire. "Promise me…" She repeated louder this time. Sirius couldn't help but nod. He couldn't bring any more grief to her after all this, no matter how wrong he thought she was. Hermione took this as a good sign and slouched out of the room once more. He waited until he heard the water running before he got up and half-jogged to the computer to delete the last message.

The house was unusually silent now, he wasn't used to the pipes not creaking or Kreacher not scuffling around in the dark. For a while he missed it. It left him to his own thoughts, thoughts that wouldn't seem to settle, or forget the deceit the woman in the room beside him had suffered.

**Told you guys it was short, tell me what you thought, what you think will happen next, or just comment. Flames will be used to melt butter for my popcorn.**

**TITLE:**

**Ok so I'm getting kind of tired of posting the votes so this post will be the last post you can suggest a title for, unfortunately. I will base my title on my own appeal as well as the votes that have been received. So vote for any of these or create your own, after this chapter everyone is probably getting a sense of what this fic is about… kind of. Lol, ok here are your previous suggestions in voting order, **

**Tied for first:**

'**Going Against Social Norms,' 'Tension,' and 'Lost Time.'**

**Other Suggestions(no particular order):**

'**Missing Youth.' **

'**Lost Youth.'**


	5. Lost Time

**I apologize for taking so long. I really had absolutly no idea how to continue with it, and it being summer, and me being bored, I wrote another chapter. The winner of the name vote was Lost Time, so those of you returning to Unknown to find it with a different name, now have a reason. Hopefully you don't all hate me for taking so long, and if you do, I totally don't blame you. Swearing in this chapter folks, so if you're under 14 please sensor yourself, Anyways, here it is:**

**Disclaimed: Anything you recognize from the books or pop culture is not mine and if it was I would be happy... but not me. Unfortunate world... I think so.**

New Chapter: Lost Time

Neither Sirius nor Hermione got very much sleep that night. Both were kept awake burdened by their own thoughts and memories. Sirius just couldn't shake the image of Hermione's eyes, filled with shame and complete helplessness. He had never seen someone with so much sadness, so much hope lost in desolate isolation… unless you counted his time in Azkaban.

It took his brain an unusually long time to wrap his mind around that conclusion and thus, sitting up all night listening to the subject laying heavily on his thoughts, cry quietly to the darkness, he decided times like these called for chocolate chip pancakes.

Things were going to change in this house, he decided, a smirk appearing on his face as he lay in the bed. Too long had it been the subject of depression and hopelessness. They could put paint on the walls but they couldn't change the past, but they could change the future. No longer would she have to suffer alone like he had so long ago.

This and the fact that the crying had ceased and he heard Hermione shift in the bed across the hall from his own, her breathing steady, comforted him enough for his mind to slip into the a light but steady sleep.

_He was in the dark again, walking along in the lonely darkness. Lost and confused he walked on, puzzled at the fact that he was back. He wondered slowly if his romp in the real world had been just a colourful dream, a dream that had come to an unfortunate end. _

_Taking a deep breath he looked down again and swallowed the bile that had risen in the back of his throat. The glass was there. It was always there, always a constant always keeping him from the reality he so desperately fought for. _

_Fear slowly ate up his calm, and the time seemed to go by so quickly, a mirage of reality and soon he was twitching, waiting for any new sound to come, so tense that he was ready to scream at any moment. _

_Sirius Black, the man who had gone through more hell in his 30 years than most people go through in a life-time was ready to die. He was ready to get out of the hell that had held him for so many years he couldn't keep count anymore. _

_A slow realization hit him, and it almost stopped his heart at the same time. What if this was death? It most certainly wasn't life. It was his punishment, his burden, and he couldn't take it anymore. He took his fist and smashed it down on the glass floor an angry scream escaping his silenced lips, and felt his hand smash through it; then he began falling again plummeting to another level of darkness._

* * *

Sirius woke with a start, a falling sensation leaving his stomach in the dream. Perspiration making his body stick to the hot sheets. It took him a moment to realize where he was. It took him another moment to think back on whether or not he had made a noise in real life. Judging by the silence of the house; he hadn't. 

It was just about dawn and light spilled fourth and through his window and onto the foot of his pink bedspread. He had to do something about that, he decided with a frown. The old house echoed with silence and he was glad that Hermione had finally gotten some sleep.

He sat up and stretched, listening to the popping of joints and the crack of his back. He ran his fingers through his hair to rid it of any residual bed head, before getting up and donning some pants. He grabbed a shirt and then made his way down the hallway towards the stairs, as quietly as he could. He still felt a little weak, but his strength was slowly returning to him.

He had passed Hermione's room in the hall and it had been quite silent behind the door, this assured him slightly that it would stay that way, at least until he started cooking. He made his way down the stairs and entered the kitchen. His plan was to do this the muggle way, but his mind was still numb from the dream, his heart still beating twice as fast.

Everything was just too silent. The tick of the clock in the living room was consoling, but it wasn't enough, it was slower than his quickened heart rate. He took his wand out of his pocket and cast a silencing charm on the room before walking over to the stereo and flicking it on. Hermione's music came blasting through and the buzz in his head lessoned somewhat, but it still remained in his chest.

It stayed in his chest hidden deep under the flesh, and frankly it scared the shit out of him. Slowly he went to the liquor cabinet and got out some firewhiskey. He took a shot to dull his brain and decided to sit for a moment, allowing the alcohol to burn on the way down.

He glanced around the room, willing himself to find a distraction. He then noticed how full the liquor cabinet was, apricot brandy was dominant, that wasn't the shit the others drank. He let out a sigh and turned up the music, the feeling weighing heavily on his thoughts.

He then began to take out the things he needed to make the aforementioned pancakes. He had the recipe memorized, years of living with a depressed werewolf and a love sick stag had conditioned his brain into fooling around in the kitchen with chocolate and sugary cakes, that, and chocolate was awesome for hangovers.

* * *

Hermione woke up to ringing silence running through her ears. She yawned and stretched her tired limbs. Her eyes hurt. A lot. She had been up most of the night. Unable to stop crying, she felt like a stupid little girl for even telling Sirius. 

Her brain froze for a moment. Sirius… knew. She didn't even want to face him again, the thought of running away came up briefly in her mind, but she pushed it back; angry at herself for even thinking about it. She was a grown woman, and she didn't run away. She had never run away, and she wouldn't start now.

Her stomach lurched at the thought of seeing Sirius again, afraid of his judgment, she had made a stupid mistake, one that in her right mind was something she would have to live with for the rest of her life. She knew it was stupid, and she knew over all that it hadn't been the right way to deal with it.

Somewhere deep inside of her, she was afraid, afraid of the rage she had felt fill her veins that night, she was afraid it would return. She suppressed the fear back into the little ball she kept in the back of her mind before it could envelope her completely. A cold chill went down her spine and she curled herself into a ball under her light covers.

"Please, please…" She spoke to her pillow, "God, make me strong." She whispered. A silent prayer she hadn't used since she was a child, left her lips before she could stop them. It gave her an odd feeling of solace in a place that up until now, had felt like a punishment.

A long shivering sigh raked her small form, and with slow deliberation she sat up, creating a wall of nausea in the pit of her stomach. Swallowing it down with determination and crossing her legs. Her chest hurt, and she felt so foolish crying over something that was so far in the past.

Her entire body hurt from exhaustion, and she allowed herself to slump over her legs for a moment, some vertebra in her back cracked, and it felt better for a moment. Sitting back up and smoothing her tear dampened hair, she blinked up at her reflection in the mirror across the room; barely recognizing the woman staring back. So many things about her had changed, her reflection had gone from a kid to a woman in a matter of two years; and after that, from the bitter hostile warrior she had turned herself into, with sharp features and a hollow face, and now it was scars and bags under her eyes.

It seemed that every time she looked in the mirror she had to squint to recognize herself, and it scared her slightly. A long hard sigh escaped her dry lips and she got up, tearing her eyes off of the mirror and opened the door. Hoping nothing would intercept her on the way to the bathroom for a super hot shower.

Unfortunately, it wasn't to be. As soon as she opened the door she was hit with the smell of something cooking downstairs. A sense of panic hit her before she could stop it, Sirius, was cooking. She had never seen him cook before, and she never wanted to see him cook. He was indeed, a Maurader. A small part of her was still afraid for the cleanliness of the kitchen, a smile quirked her lips for the faintest of seconds as she remembered the time before the war, before she came back to Earth, and almost ran down the stairs to save her kitchen.

As she leaped of the last stair, she moved through the silencing spell and realized that her stereo was on and blasting her music. She skidded to a stop and listened for a moment. "Shit…" she muttered, having been found out, a blush falling across her cheeks as the guitar hit a grinding solo. She heard Sirius in the kitchen screeching out the guitar verbally, then he shouting out the next line just a little too early, and then laughing at himself.

A small grin appeared on her face, before she buried it back under a stern look, and walked into the kitchen. There she found something only a hand full of people could ever be called witness to seeing.

Sirius had a flipper in one hand and was using it to play 'air guitar,' he was wearing her apron that read, '_CAUTION, I can go from hostess to bitch in 2.3 seconds.' _He had a giant stack of chocolate chip pancakes on one plate and was in the process of cooking more in 2 frying pans. The song slowed down slightly and Sirius, who still hadn't noticed she was standing in the doorway, now lowered his 'guitar' and threw it on the counter, before picking up a frying pan and manually flipping the chocolate chip cakes using a flick of his wrist.

She watched as they flew into the air and landed with a splat in the pan. Sirius had a smile of satisfaction on his face as he placed the pan back on the heat. "Coffee?" he asked, before she could say anything. Hermione cocked an eyebrow; she didn't think he knew she was there.

He looked up at her, his eyes sparkling with good humor and grinned, what she could only describe as a dog grin. Finally she nodded, and walked into the kitchen, taking in the damage as she went.

It wasn't terrible, but the counter was sticky and covered in batter, chocolate smears covered the stove top and Sirius, who didn't seem to care, had a splotch of flour in his hair. He came back with her coffee and a plate of pancakes for her and plunked it in front of her.

She stared up at him for a moment, and he grinned. "Only returning the favor love; seeing as you made me breakfast yesterday." He explained. "Hangover potion doesn't count as a breakfast." Hermione stated indignantly. "Oh most of the time it does." Sirius countered, "Although, how you found my secret recipe, I still can't figure out." He added, walking back over to the stove top and checking the bottoms of the pancakes.

Hermione chuckled, "That's an easy one. Remus knows it by heart." She stated looking down at her plate of pancakes, suddenly hungry. She guessed crying all night did that to people. Sirius laughed, "Now _that_, I can believe." He stated. Hermione wrinkled her nose.

"Nasty potion that one, hot sauce and coffee?" Hermione criticized scrunching up her nose. Sirius shrugged, "Best one I've come across though." Sirius stated with a shrug, he flashed a grin over his shoulder from where he was standing and Hermione smiled at him. Hermione glanced down at her plate and reached for the syrup, drizzling the soft fluffy cakes with it before replacing it back on the table.

"I didn't know you cooked." She stated inquiringly. Sirius laughed, "I know the basics, these came in handy with a pissed off, chocolate loving, werewolf in the house, and a love sick Stag. It was a good bet that at least one of them was angry with me." Sirius stated with a wink, he set the last frying pan in the sink and used his wand to magic the dishes clean; before coming over and sitting across from her.

Hermione knew he was trying to make up for last night, and with grim realization figured out that he had heard her crying, and then with a bit of panic realized she still looked like she had been crying. Hotness spread across her cheeks and she looked up to see Sirius in mid-pancake. She was thankful he hadn't mentioned it yet; he looked up at her and sent her a reassuring smile, apparently trying to convince her to have some pancake.

Hermione picked up her utensils and took a bite, it was true, they were good, better than she could do, and her dad had always made them for her when she was little if she had a bad day. Sadness bit at her stomach as she the suppressed memory of this flooded back, and she stared down at the little round cakes on her dish and realized that Sirius was probably using the same recipe.

A knot formed in her throat, and before she could stop it, a tear fell down her cheek and on to the stack of pancakes. She clenched her fists to try and stop, but Sirius had already noticed. "They can't be that bad." Sirius stated, his silver blue eyes filling with concern.

Hermione wiped the tears away. "They aren't, they're lovely really, it's just my dad used to make them for me when I little and had a bad day." She stated, attempting a watery smile. Sirius nodded, trying to understand, wishing he hadn't made pancakes. Hermione made herself take another bite and swallowed it, her mouth feeling dry.

"I'm sorry." Sirius apologized, reaching out and taking her hand awkwardly. Hermione stared at him for a moment, and then sent him a wet smile. The kitchen was silent for a moment as the two of them struggled to find something to say to each other.

Finally Sirius let go, and stood, walking over to the window, his eyes elsewhere. "I wish there was something I could have done to help." He stated looking out over the large yard behind the house. Hermione shook her head.

"You couldn't have done anything Sirius, no one could have. It was my fault, I wouldn't have told you about it anyways. I didn't tell anyone. I wanted something else, I wanted an escape from the damn war, and what did I get? Nothing but what I was trying to run from in the first place." Hermione looked up at him, her eyes begging for him to understand. She had lasted so many years now without anyone knowing.

Sirius turned around, searching her face, noting more tears ready to flow on her already wet cheeks. Her chest heaved in and out as she tried to get her emotions in check. It broke him on the inside to see someone so beautiful in so much pain, her slender form slumped over his failed pancakes, her head in her hands, as she stared into his eyes. Sirius licked his lips, searching for the right words.

"It wasn't your fault love. Everyone wanted to escape the war. Everyone knew what the war was doing, and you were taken advantage of, I've yet to find someone who hasn't been. You're not stupid Hermione. You are anything but stupid, but you aren't a god either, it was a big mistake, but it doesn't mean you were responsible, we all do stupid things in times like that. You aren't the only one, I made mistakes too." Sirius glanced down to his bare feet, and then back up at Hermione, who sniffed.

Sirius cocked an eyebrow and walked over to her, "You don't believe me do you?" He whispered seriously. Hermione glanced up at him, his eyes were ice cold, and for a moment she was frightened. He tore off his shirt, the apron flying across the room, revealing a rock hard, but skinny body, covered in scars and tattoos.

A scowl crossed his face as he looked down at his own bare chest and closed the space in between them. "This is my mistake Hermione, all of these." He stated in a voice that made a chill go through her spine. It was almost savage. He motioned towards his chest, there was a tally tattooed on it, 6 lines all together.

"I've lost the most important people in my life, I left Harry and the Order behind, and I was too stupid to argue with James over being secret keeper. I'm a horrible Godfather, and I've failed. Every promise I've ever made has been broken." Sirius spat, his eyes flashed.

Hermione watched him a moment, her complexion paling, her jaw hardening. "No." She stated finally, in a voice barely above a whisper. She stood up, her own hard eyes meeting his, the fear he had seen in them before had been exchanged with anger, and they stood there and stared at each other long and hard.

"You can't fucking think that." Hermione stated through her teeth, seething. "Now you know how I feel." Sirius stated leveling off. Hermione made a sound somewhere between a grunt and a scream and stormed out of the room. The music still blared out of the sound system in the living room.

Sirius pulled angry hands through his raven hair, glaring out the window and at the grey clouds forming outside, and finally deciding to go after her. Whipping around and forgetting all about his pancakes, and happy morning. He found her pacing the hall way, her wild hair in clumped knots, her cheeks wet with tears, and her complexion red with anger.

She paced a couple more times, and when she saw him coming she turned her back on him. Frustration filled him to the core, he hated seeing her like this, he hated feeling the way he did about everything, he hated feeling responsible, and before he could help himself, he had reached out and grabbed her shoulder, turning her around forcefully.

She stared into his eyes, anger flashing behind them, and he stared back, holding both her arms. She didn't struggle, she just stared, a tear fell unconsciously down her cheek, and suddenly his lips connected with hers.

At first he was surprised with himself, and then he noticed that she was kissing back fiercely. Her soft lips caressing his with an almost animal ferociousness, and he kissed back, all the weight on his shoulders seemed to disappear and he ran a hand down her back, his fingers twining in her soft hair. She had her hands running up and down his arms and chest. The moment seemed to last forever and his mind seemed to ease off of the tension it had been holding back.

Her leg entwined around his and suddenly he really realized what was happening and pulled back. He found himself staring into Hermione's surprised eyes, her mouth hung open for a moment and then she brought her hand up to it. Both of them were breathing hard, their chests going in and out.

"I- I have to go…" Sirius stated quickly, he ran a hand through his hair before summoning his shirt from the kitchen, slipping it on, and quickly striding out the door. Leaving Hermione there with the music blaring through the quiet house, to try and sort out her thoughts.

**Ohh... Now what's going to happen? -confused author doesn't even know yet- I'll probably update sooner this time, not my best chapter, but hey, it's progress!**


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